BanterWeb

I work in a medium-rise office building in a cubicle. My job title and place of work can be derived from the content of these posts. Thank you.

It was raining this morning. Hard. In fact everyone parked in the parking garage today and I can guarantee that not everyone here has a parking pass. Parking is $2.50 an hour here with a $20 cap for the day. People usually hit that cap which seems like absolute insanity to me. Even though people parked in the garage this morning, the farm was populated with hanging umbrellas on the outsid eof the cubicle walls. My side of the farm has ten cubicles, six of which are regularly occupied, two of which have part time occupancy, and the final two are temporary workstations for people who don’t have a desk here.

The Afternoon Show’s offic eis directly across from my cubicle and throughout the day they’re in a mad rush to get topics to discuss on the air. Generally, I think they debate the same things every day; hot political topics that amplify the conservative agenda. The door next to them is the Late Morning Show, and to their right is the supply closet which is locked with a thick padlock. They had a problem in the past with paper reams disappearing. Next to my cubicle is ‘Stacy’. She lives with her parents because she ‘wants to save money’ and can’t seem to focus on her work due to all the gentlemen callers phoning her. Next to her is ‘Allison’, the secretary for ‘Chad’. Allison has the habit of surfing Facebook and listening to loud rap on earbuds so everyone on this side of the farm can hear it. Chad has the habit of chain smoking and hitting on everything that breathes. He paces the farm floor every afternoon around 1:20 and packs his cigarettes. I can always hear him coming from across the farm by the ‘pat pat pat’ of his Marlboro 27s.

I think everyone here smokes. Smoking here is the lunch break for most folks. A cigarette for lunch is considered a healthy diet as it ages the lungs and makes you sound dead sexy on the radio. The whole place reeks of stale coffee, stale cigarettes, and stale mold. You can walk by cubicles and tell who smokes and who doesn’t. The veteran smokers are the ones who’s stink you can smell from across the farm. The newer employees and newer smokers are the ones who mask their stench with flowery lotions and perfumes and such cover ups.

 Here’s the juicy dialogue of the day, thus far:

• Allison: What are you doing here?
• Gentleman caller: What do you mean, what am I doing here:
• Allison (hushed tone): You know you’re not supposed to be here.
• GC: The secretary stepped away from the desk so I figured it was okay.
• Allison: Okay? that’s like, breaking and entering or something.
• GC: Don’t be angry. I just wanted to see you…
• Allison: I just…I don’t know…this just doesn’t feel right.
• (Chad enters)
• Chad: What’s going on?
• Allison: {GC} was um…just leaving…right?
• GC: Yeah…yeah I was. See you around, Allison.
• (Allison bursts into tears)
• Chad: What the fuck was that all about?
• Allison: I don’t want to talk about it…
• Chad: If you need anything, just come into my office.
• Allison: (sighs)

Chad exits and enters his office. ALlison enters, closes the door, and turns out the light.

My boss hasn’t shown up in four days. I came in every day, did my daily stuff, closed down the cubicle, and left. It’s been pretty nice but I’ve felt kind of useless as far as productivity is concerned. He came back today and bogged me down with work just as I was getting used to not having anything to do. Apparently the station is marketing themselves as a website designer and is trying to get companies to purchase ads or website designs. I heard rumors that a major car corporation just paid us high-six-digits to design their website. I looked at it and wasn’t so impressed.

That’s all for right now. Over and out.